Phoebs Up

Happy 2008! It has been
cold here in tokyo but still not signs of snow…sob!! We got our fix
at Mt Naeba , Nigata. I "hiroly" walked down the slope which my husband
D snow boarded.

 
Here my list of things i wanna do in 2008!

1) Get healthier ( who doesnt right).

2) Try cooking a new dish.

3) Improve my Painting ( that`s art not wall one) Skills and Vocal too if possible.

4) Plan a wonderful Speech and S for my sista on her wedding in Dec.

5) Make baby or babies and a most romantic way.

6) Finish reading the bible ( i a still at Genesis 3)

7) Discover japan more and enjoy it while we can ( we have till june 2009-deposting)

Love my husband more.

9) Contact my friends more.

10) Walk closer to God

I had the weirdest dream
last night. I dreamt i had house many , many people. Perhaps its
because we have many visitors? I remember feeling like our house was a
guest house..haha.oh well.Do people dream often??

And so it is with excitement and fear
that i look towards this new year!! I may decide to fully transfer my
blog from friendster to here..not sure yet. We`ll see. The uploading of
pics here is way way better. Thanks Ning.

I cannot wait to be back in Sing for CNY in feb. My 1st in 3 years.

Hope you enjoy the pic of the last 3 months that i have uploaded.

"Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear!"
Matthew 13:43

Phoebs

I had a long talk with my sister a few nights ago we spoke for the longest time. Sometimes i feel like she is the elder one with her wisdom and her sadness. Herr hope and joy it is infectious.

She is not one to tell how she feels and she is always filled with love for others. She would not say this and it would make her blush if i say she cares for others than herself but it is true.

She had to make many decisions older than her long before she had matured but by the grace of  God she was given wisdom each time and i can see that God is molding her with each day and each moment.

I thank God for  a wonderful, gifted and some what silly (like me ) sister. And i look forward to seeing her and Vincent grow together as a couple.

Sis, i love you and remember to continue to trust and have faith in Him and His plans for all of us.

Here`s to the countdown to your wedding!!

"With all my heart and with all my His grace,
i pray to God this very day,
that we can deal all things in His way.
And pray together each day,
even though we are far away."
love Jie. For you Phyllis

I watched "Message in a Bottle" just now. It evoked lots of emotions in me. I had wondered why so much sadness had happened last year and in the movie`s message it became clear.

So what if life had been a circle of tragedies, it is better to have loved than to never have loved before.

Such is true in the lives of those that had passed  last year. Such is true of the people you have loved before that have gone on to a better place.

It had been a long wintry grave in my heart. I had felt that i was almost too fortunate to be sitting here in my comfort, writing this post.

But ain’t we all created to live in hope and to flourish with each trial, each bitterness we should take with the sweet and with the hope that after a storm that has arise, a new dawn is breaking.

So i told myself i shall not be discouraged by the series of events that seem unsolvable. Do not be pledge by the sadness that surrounds those around you. Drink from the Joy that the Lord has promise and given you. There is much to be happy about. There is much to look forward for. This year, this future.

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me , for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."Matthew 28-30

I want patience and humbleness in dealing with all matters, wisdom to finish reading the bible. And an open heart to listen to those who are weary lastly grace to grow in kindness.

I know that i am loved and can love more. So can you.

How about you out there? What about this year? What can you change in your life?

Its a new year. I had not written for a long time. Felt like there were no words deep enough to express how i felt about 2007. Now it has passed and i want to look upon 2008 with joy and reassurance.

It`s gonna be another 1 and a half years before i leave Japan. We (D and i ) should really started preparing or rather planning our time well.

I decided if i do get a chance to have a heart to heart with Dad i will try to do it. He keeps saying he might invite us to KL to aunt C`s place. ;@He complains to my sis that i did not visit him when i went back in Dec yet tells me its okie……ahhhh whatever. I pray that God will forgive him for making me cry on Christmas and New Year.

We had a wonderful time at Mt Naeba, D snowboarded like crazy and i enjoyed the wonderful view a 1000 fold. Only lousy thing was me slipping on the ice and hitting my back, its bruised but better now

I miss home. I miss my sweaty , sunny, cheery island. My family, my family and kids that are growing. But i`ll deal with it . I know HE still has plans for us here.

Happy 2008! Fill it with Joy and Laughter!!

"And we know that in all things,God works for the Good of those who Love Him." Romans 8 : 28

I have not been able to sleep well the last few nights despite the fact that i had been dosing myself with flu meds. I guess i keep trying to run through all the happy times i had with my dad that i could bring up to conversation when we meet.

My mind draws a blank.

I remember his aftershave smell. How he likes to tell me the interesting stories of his life as a volunteer police man. The scary movies that he would watched but as the years passed i wonder do i know him?

It is a scary thought that i have kept to myself for so long since my parents divorced. No doubt i have forgiven his unfaithfulness, no doubt i have come to peace with the past but reconciliation , total reconciliation with him is difficult.

I find myself putting up this perfect mask when i speak to him.

Can i peel it away this time to tell him how i really felt about their decision? How it has sub consciously dictated my life. I ask God to give me strengthen and wisdom to share.

I do long to have some sort of real relationship to share with him.

He is coming on the 21st this month!

"Honor your father andyour mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
Exdous 20:12

I can`t wait to be back in Sing. I wanna roam the streets and breathe in all the humid air. Hug my mum, my sis and all my friends real tight.

I`ve been thinking life is too short really.

I just want to be happy while i am job-free and parent -free

Wanna eat carrot cake, chilli crab,  yong tou fu, fish porridge/soup…..etc etc.

Wanna go kayak with my best friends, see all  my friends kids and just chill.

So wait for me to get back okay

ps* I`m on facebook too under Phoebe Chew.

` Rejoice in the Lord always`

Psalm 91 - some verses that spoke to me with regards to the many deaths and circumstances surrounding these times.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
"He is my refuge and my fortress.,
my God, in whom I trust." verses:1-2

"If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

"Because he loves me"says the LORD,
"I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he
acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and i will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."- 14-16

I realize that i have so much to understand than i cannot begin to comprehend but i want to have faith and i want to trust in him.

*I hope His word reaches out to you and comforts you. *

My Singaporean friend died after she gave birth to a child 2 days ago. We do not know all the details.

I was shocked when my sister called me at 12am telling me the news. I know her from church. I know her family and her kid.

She was young, happy and very friendly to everyone around her and just like that she is gone from this world.

We cannot experience how it feels to lose a loved one unless we have lost one ourselves.

Sometimes we feel like a piece of us dies with them, we feel like the world has halted for this moment in time and we are frozen unaware of all around us.

But then we move, time still moves, we have to, to survive.

I told a friend that i need religion in my life, and i know that He is real. He is greater than me, greater than all of this.

And when there is none who understands, God does. When you can on longer cry out to anyone, God listens.

I believe that Jesus is my Shepherd. When i am lost He will come looking for me.

And so when i do not know how to comfort my friend i turn to Him and ask Him what can you do in my life so that it is one that shows your glory. That even in death,  my life would have been one that God can say " This is my Daughter whom I love; with her I am pleased."

If death happens and it does what can we do?

We can mourn, we can cry.

We can also hope and believe in the grace and faith that God has given us.

So live your life before He calls. Live gloriously with joy and thanksgiving.

" And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:20b 

Jesus promises. And i believe

Love? I will tell you what it is to love!
It is to build with human hearts a shrine,
Where hope sits brooding like a beauteous dove,
Where time seems young, and life a thing divine.

~Charles Swain

One of those days where i actually feel that it is great to be alive.

`Grey`s Anatomy` as a doctor told me is a rather thick and heavy book that they used as a pillow. I thought how wonderfully ironic

I think the reason behind my obsession with Meredith and her friends is that i believe that there is a little of us in them.

My favorite character is Cristina. I think she is brutal and unemotional but then i guess deep inside we or rather i wish that sometimes i can be as honest as she is.

It is not surprising however that i am most like Izzie, who would put her friends before another thing.

Meredith, Felicity, Carrie- Character`s whom you can identify with , a little fragile, a little smart. A little insane and 100% real (well some of it`s real).

Grey`s not only delivers on the screenplay but the music is great as the punchlines cool. As Felicity is obsessed with Scott, Carrie`s fashion, Grey`s is medicine.

So i cannot wait to see what happens in the end of it all

So then what has this all have to do with love? Well, if in the shows love is complex, crazy and inconstant, then i`ll take life`s take in love, cause every day i learn i try to love a little more with more faith and alot of hope.

Happy Birthday D, No writer can recreate the craziness, fuzziness and madness of the love that we have. Many more to come.

Keep Loving because of.
Keep loving in spite of.
Keep loving when to love is most difficult.
Keep loving when you have no strength.
Keep loving because Jesus loves you
in good times and bad
on mountain tops, in valleys.
When all else fails,
keep on loving.
~ Anita Corrine Donhihue

"There can never be enough ` i love you`s ` in our lives,
There can never be enough of your laughter & goofiness,
There can never be enough of your brillant mind
or your hugs and kisses so divine.
I love you now,
later and always till eternity
God willing."
~ For my D from me.

Grey`s Anatomy, Prison Break. There`s where i have been getting my fix lately. Its difficult getting stuff here in Japan when they are still airing the last season of friends on their satellite.

Its a good thing that i am having a summer break till Sept, so that i can indulge in my love for all things serials…

I am looking forward to teaching the little kiddies and bible study class though cos i need  my fix of sweetness and wisdom.

Jo is leaving our singapore (read not tai-tai`s ) wives club tomorrow….i shall and will miss her, her and she aloofness that is infectious.

I remember asking her what we should name our group of singapore wives in japan. BaW?- Bankers and Wives ( lots of bankers here) for me DaW? - Diplomat and Wives?  What a laugh. I`ll miss you Jo. Take care and have a blessed trip back. See you really soon.

Today i met D`s new intern, she is want i think an outstanding president scholar would be. Smart, sweet and witty.She is 21. Looking at her i thought "hey i am not that much older.. wait a min i am..i`m like 8years older."

When i was 21, i had been flying for 2 years. Gosh those years seem light years away. Scary and empowering to recall, yet those were the times or height of my life or fitness. I do like my mellowed and mushy self now though. Wisdom and age can grow a person.

And we never cease to learn as we age with grace of cause.

I have a friend that has been talking to me about her problems as  a divorcée  in Japan. At first it seemed easy to just listen, but then i started to think that her behavior was childish and that i am not a mother to her.

Thinking back i know that i had been the self centered one , so i decided that i would continue to encourage her and learn to let go of her sadness and loneliness to the Lord.

Okie I will try to write more and update. Miss my Island! Miss my Home, looking forward to November.

"A gentle answer turns away Wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouth of the fool gushes folly……

~ Proverbs 15 :1-4, 13"

Wisdom from the wise that i try to follow.;)

Ps+ I`ll try to upload some pics have to adjust the memory space.