Phoebs Up

5th Month

Father what have i done for you today?
Have i forgotten the things that you’ve said?
Have my trials been too heavy to bear,
that i have fallen barren and scared?

I long to see your face, that loving gaze and strong embrace.
If i could only bear the cross that you’ve beared,
maybe i’ll understand this things will soon be aired.

Cast my eyes to that Cross,
that symbol that we ‘ve shared.
May my prayers be like incenses that fill the air.

Let me mourn, let me tear at my clothes in despair.
Till i surrender to you Father and you’ve
answered all my prayers.

No problem really all i had to do was to not think of anything and i will be fine. Really? Really????

That’s what i thought to myself the many times that i had queued at the amusement park.

What does it  feel like?

Well there was this one ride that went 130km/h and another that was 10 stories high…thinking back i wonder how did i have the guts to do all that!! Actually i cheated, i sat on the rides with half of my eyes closed.

Bevan and David stood petrified with both feet firm on the ground the whole time. I think David enjoyed the ferris wheel the most

But the night scene at Tokyo dome was a most spectacular one and really kinda romantic with the rain drizzling and the sky glittering with a thousand lights from the rides.

Totemo Tanoshikatta to Kirei na tokoro desu.
very enjoyable and pretty  place.

okie okie top 5 things that i noticed that Japan gals do at rollercoasters.

1. They wear super short skirt and high boots.
2. They are actually quite quiet on the rides…hmm
3. They do not cling on to their boyfriends/ husbands.
4. They look mostly good after a ride , where as….
5. They of course let the man pay for anything

But really , i have been thinking alot about home and the anticipation of going home grows stronger each time.

Have Faith i tell myself.  Soon.

Blessed is the man who presevers under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who loved him.
- James 1:12
 

True so true, i thought that i could just sing my blues away and for that moment i really did think i felt better. Had gone on friday to a Ktv place with my classmates and their husbands. My throat was feeling a little scratchy but i thought wat the heck.

David came later he had finally finish his week work of work or so i thought (now as we speak he is still at work, today is a public holi) Anyhow there i was screaming "i’m a genie in a bottle babee…." and sharing beers with my husband when it hit me that not too long ago i had gone to a ktv with my sis…waves of memories crushed into my mind.

So here i am, yes as my husband had predicited having a sawww throat but feeling better since yesterday…

Yesterday.

David asked the church to pray for my mom.  Tears of relief, shyness, guilt just came over me. I cried and cried there in church. I cried for mom and that her soul will be saved, that she will accept God into her life.  I cried for my sis, whom i know is trying so hard to be strong.  I cried for david, for being there for me despite the diff times that we have been sharing and i cried for myself, trying so hard to be strong at all times knowning only then that all i needed was HIM- JESUS to be in my life, to comfort me, to make me feel complete again.

I haven’t bought the tickets for Sing yet.  Eventhough i’ve finally made up my mind to go back i can’t help but think of David and worry for him.  The other wives here say that they had gone thru that but it’ll work out.

Bevan and his galfriend (Grace) came on sat.  Ha ha he is still the same. His galfriend a designer and well they do make a nice pair. He finally found a dance school with david help and i think his gal is cool to hang around as he dances.

Pics will be placed soon.

Btw, my classmate’s baby died, she has been 2months pregnant. I was at a baseball game with Teri when i had received the email. Sigh what God gives he gives away…

So i want to be strong to be able to face the trials that God give us and i want to have faith that in whatever i do HE will provide and give strength.

*You said you’d come and share all my sorrows. You said you’d be there for all my tomorrows. I came so close to sending you away. But just like you promised, you came here to stay I just had to pray.  And Jesus said," Come to the Water, stand by my side, I know  you are thirsty, you won’t be denied. I felt every tear drop. when in darkness you cried, And i strove to remind you, that for those tears I died."*

-this song reminded me of home and of God’s love and mercy and it comforted me. May it comfort you in times of saddness too

10 Things I do to Remind me of Home

^i have peace like a river…^