Phoebs Up

It is cold today, 7degrees. I still have to pack and do some cleaning but i wanted to share this:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers. neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Found out 2 days ago that My grandma (ma ma) is dying from lung cancer. I cried the whole day yesterday. And the moment i heard about it i was in despair.

It cannot be….I have not seen her and have so many things i want to share with her. I have not  said i love her and she has not seen the kids that i would have .

Fay Ann told me that her legs are as big as my arms. And she had asked her when will she and Greg were to have kids. Her heart ached when  ma ma said that . Ma ma kept telling them ( my cousins and my sister) that D and myself will be back this weekend.

I told Fay i was sharing with some ladies in church yesterday  how we eat chilli with everything while they ate theirs with plums and radish. I started to wept at the thought of how lovingly my grandma would prepare chillies and fried fish for me to take back to Tokyo.

Am i selfish for wanting her to live forever? Am i sad for my mom?

I had so many questions.

I woke up at 5:45am yesterday after sleeping for 4hours. D laid beside me sound asleep. I felt restless and wanted to talk to someone. So when Pastor Jerry returned my emailed i called him. He prayed with me and i decided to call my BSF (Bible Study fellowship) leader, Png.

What she told me encouraged me a great deal. She said that she had asked herself why her now successful son Paul was blind on one eye , like perhaps Paul in the Bible was. But now she is proud of that.

God gives us trials , not ones that we cannot bear but ones that can help strengthen us and in turn Glorify Him. I intend to bring this home with me.

This i ask humbly, that all my friends pray with us for my dearest grandma . Pray for the strength that we need for the trials to come and the wisdom to handle all situations.

i know we can do all things thru Christ who strengthen and heals.

"My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare."psalm 26 :15

Nehemiah 1:5-6 " O Lord, God of heaven , the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to heart the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night…"

This entry was posted on Friday, January 12th, 2007 at 12:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.