Phoebs Up

Its the in between that bugs me. Its so cold now..maybe 6degrees? Its been a very busy week. A good friend got married, visited an art school, planned for easter etc etc. Yet All is good. That night i sat in bed thinking of the date that my grandma passed away and felt sad again i almost forgot it.

I thought to myself will i forget the way she sounds just as I’ve forgotten how ah ma sounds. It’s been a while since i thought of her.

David has been having a non existent life, so busy with work that it is giving him aches. Can only pray that he will have more time to breathe after the visit.

Its almost Good Friday. This year I’m suppose to be planning the children program. I hope they will enjoy it

Coming back to japan this time is really bitter-sweet. Feel like i have a job here and that life here is so different from Singapore. Guess i need to look towards God for guidance. Need to draw closer to HIM.

Have i changed ?

I hope i did. Seeing all my cousins grow is so wonderful. Wish i could see my new niece- Keira.

Will write again soon.

"change and renew my heart - Romans 12: 2"

I find my tears flowing at the weirdest places. During dinner while we discuss his work. In the bathroom as i read an article. Listening to Bocelli’s haunting voice.

I miss her.

I found a bottle of something she made for me. Another one i had kept a long time and has been passed its expiry. Why does everything have a shelf life?

I keep myself busy since I’ve been back. Really who could ask for more? A loving devoted husband. One’s own home. A God that i can call upon in this time of sadness. Yet for most of the time i hide my hurt deep inside me. There are others whose grief are greater than mine. Other people than i can pray for. Joyous occasion to look forward too.

Yet thinking back, i started to feel sad when i saw Mummy’s tears as she whispered " I’m so glad you were here at this time for me.." Perhaps I’m slow to feel..perhaps God was protecting me. I looked at their faces and cherished the fact that they had sent me. Hugs given with great abundance and tears for the journey that I’ll keep till i return again.

My sister who has without warning grown. Still need more growing though so do i

Y’s poems moved me..how much more do i treasure words that God have given.

Lost friends that met me, i feel grateful and blessed that God has kept them well and that we have this bond that’s never ending.

Cousins whose bond have grown thru this time.

Miss Moo’s tears shed are precious, so is her friendship to me.

Nothing greater that time well spent there in Singapore.

But here’s to life back here. Sent here to do HIS work. Sent to bring more hope and glory to HIS kingdom.

Promised HIM I’ll do better this year.

" The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."-Proverb 9:10

Proverb 3:5-6" Trust in the Lord….with all your heart"
Proverb 19:21"Many are the plans in man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that Prevails."

With HIM what else can i fear?

Ever yours,